6 months

I am one that is huge on Anniversary's. I love reminding Steve (even though we don't celebrate) of our dating, engagement, birthday's, wedding, first kiss, first date, first time we went here or do this or whatever. It's fun to me to look back at however long it's been and see where we are and that we actually made it here!
6 months ago today I was sitting here at my desk in tears, with a horrid stomach ache trying not to throw up from anticipation and worry. I was going to go to my Dr office at 12:15 and find out what all 5 sticks I tested meant. If you remember I took 5 tests the night before, 2 were positive and 3 were negative. I was scared, excited, worried, confused out of my mind. But mainly I was trusting God and praying w/ my whole heart that his will be done and if he wanted us to have a Baby he would take care of everything and we would be fine. It turns out God wanted us to have a Baby. It was probably one of the most emotional days of my life. We had been trying for 10 months to get pregnant to no avail. And honestly to this day I don't know when or how (besides the obvious) it happened. Was it some of the meds I was taking?? Was it because I wasn't so consumed in temperatures, times, cycles, ect?? Or was it just God's will?? I'm pretty sure it was that we surrendered to God's timing and everything worked out when he wanted it to work. I am so so so grateful for this Baby and for that day and all the hard time we went through. It seriously makes me so much more excited and grateful then I ever could have been.
I have been waiting to write a post because I wanted to post a belly picture, I went to a baby shower the other night and had my picture taken with a "friend" (it's confusing, she is my sister in laws sister, but I just consider her to be a good friend) and one of her friends at the shower. Wendy is having her baby on March 17th and her friend is due June 1st and we took some pictures together and I've been waiting for the MIL to email them. I didn't ask her to but she just usually does and this one time she didn't! Oh well I'll see her tomorrow night and will ask her to then and then I'll just have to write another post and put the picture up. Or maybe I'll take one tonight. Me and my sis are going to get our toes done and go to dinner so I'll take some pictures when I get home :) That is if we don't have another stupid blizzard..........ugh I am so done with winter! Sorry...........

Anywho, I am now 30 weeks and 1 day. Oh my freaking gord I am going to have a Baby! This is seriously starting to freak me out. I'm not worried about being ready for her to come (cuz we're totally not) or even labor and delivery (which I am). I am more worried about how this little Bean is going to impact our lives. Will I be a good Mom? Will I be to strict and mean and yell at spank her all the time?? Or will I think she is so perfect and cute and adorable that she will go to other people's house and in public and yell and scream and break stuff like those kids that we don't really "care" for???? Oh my it's a lot of pressure. Seriously it sounds so bad but I see parents these days, out in public at wally world, target, the mall, even friends with kids that I see first hand and I wonder why they don't discipline?? Seriously? Why does everybody over indulge and spoil thier kids?? They sit in the shopping cart and yell and scream and throw a fit so the parent gives them cookies. HUH?? Shouldn't you calm the child and warn/scare them to calm down, tell them they can't have cookies cuz they threw a fit and next time if they are good and sweet and quiet they can have a treat. Doesn't that just make sense?? Or why if a child is talking back to you would you pick it up and praise them?? Shouldn't you tell them it's wrong to talk that way and that they have to apologize?? I seriously don't get it. I know it will be different then I think it is, I'll have a hard time hurting her and telling her No but I refuse to be her friend and let her get out of control. All those kids screaming and getting their way in Target, what will they be like when they are 17 18 years old? Scary! Anyways must be my hormones but these are things I am pondering and obsessing over right now. LOL.
Plus I am I don't know what would you say, nervous, worried, upset about how me and Steve's lives are going to change. I'll be sleep deprived, in pain, crabby, and he'll be sleep deprived and want to help but not want to over do it w/ his health and it will be hard! Plus the fact that we can't just throw on some shoes and run to Target or the mall or to a movie whenever we want. I'll have to plan outings w/ my girlfriends, trips to the grocery store, around feedings. We might not get much time in front of the tv cuddling and talking b/c she will need to be fed and changed and make sure she isn't screaming her head off. Ugh. So much pressure! Ha. Trust me this is ALL I have ever wanted in life. I have the most perfect life I could ever imagine and this little Bean is just making it even more amazing. But I honestly never thought it would happen. I never thought it would be real and I would be having an actual Baby grow inside of me. So so so crazy.
Which brings me to my OTHER worry. When I first first found out I was pregnant I was a nervous wreck. I would lose the Baby, it wouldn't form/grow properly, I would start to bleed, SOMETHING would go wrong. Then after the first 12/15 weeks I stopped worrying about that and moved on to bigger and better things. I worried they would find something horribly wrong at the 20 wk ultra sound. Some deformity, or chromosomal abnormality or something wrong. The only thing they found was my fluid was a tiny bit low and I needed to drink more water. Seriously?? She is perfect and fine and I am capable of growing a perfect little human?? Now I am on to other things, cord issues, placental abruption, her not fitting in the birth canal, being breech, SOMETHING!!!! Seriously do you have any idea how hard it is to be retarded and be me? I am my Father's child. I read WAY to much info on the web.
I have had almost every minor pregnancy side effect you can encounter. Heartburn-check. Leg cramps-check. Bloating-check. Bloody noses-check check check. Nausea-check. Food aversions-check. Failed my 1st gestational Diabetes test-check. Yes failing that test was HUGE for me. Seeing my Dr's office on my caller ID that day was horrible my heart sank. I couldn't get in for the 3 hour glucose test for 7 days. They weren't happy but what could they do. I totally and completely changed my diet from that moment on. I cut myself down to less then 150 carbs a day. (from probably 2000 a day ha) It was so hard, emotionally, physically, everything. I broke down so hard. It was pathetic. Steve would just hold me and let me go off and scream and cry and tell me it would be OK. Why was my body failing me? I couldn't make a Baby, then when it finally decided to do that I couldn't process my sugar and could in turn hurt or even kill my baby and possibly me?? WHAT?? Oh my it was bad. I am SUCH a drama queen. I ate so well that whole week. Sugar free snacks, sandwiches, LOTS of fruit and veggies, only water to drink, man it was HARD. I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some sugar ya'll. Honestly. And to give it all up?? I was not dealing well w/ this.
So to make a long post even longer b/c I am BORED out of my eyeballs here is the whole long Hospital visit story from last Saturday.
I woke up at 6:30am and hopped in the shower, my lovely most amazing Husband begrudgingly also woke up and got ready to go with me. Am I lucky ladies or what? He promised he would be with me every step of the way that day and he truly was. I woke up starving. I ate a sugar free ice cream bar at 8:30pm Friday night and wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight. I didn't know if it included drinking but I figured water would be fine right?? What can water do to alter glucose tests?? Well, for some reason in the morning something told me not to have anything at all until we got there and if they said I could have water I would get me a bunch. Good thing I didn't.
We leave and get to the hospital at about 7:50 and I was supposed to be there at 8. I go to the desk at the Diagnostic Center and tell the little cute lady who I am and what not and she tells me she is having computer problems and can't print anything off, including the forms I need to fill out to start the test. Seriously? So we wait, and wait, and wait and wait. We waited until 8:40 to fill out the forms. Great. Finally we get the paper work situated and this weird nurse blood taker lady takes me to small back room (more like a hall way with some chairs and curtains), tells me to sit in the "comfty" chair and rest my arm on the pillow. She wanders around talking to herself and being super weird. Me and Steve are looking at each other trying not to lose it. Honestly. So she won't really tell me what is going to happen or how this test works she just keeps mumbling weird stuff. I ask her if I can drink water and she says no not to. Seriously?? So she finally ends up telling me that basically they take my blood once, see what my sugar levels are since I hadn't eaten in over 12 hours (almost 13 by this point it was like 9:15) and if I drew a super high level with nothing in my system they would not proceed with the test and know that I had the Gestational Diabetes. If I had a good low number I would have to drink that nasty orange stuff (which I will give you my full opinion on it since you asked thankyouverymuch. It's like a 6 oz plastic water bottle filled with mostly w/ water, 10 cups or more of sugar and a packet of orange kool aid. There you have it folks it's not "flat orange juice" like some weird ppl say it is (what does UN flat OJ taste like then?? Weird, OJ has no carbonation in it so I don't know how it can go flat? I am confused on that one)), get my blood tested an hour after I first drink it, then again in an hour and then AGAIN in another hour. Yes folks 4 blood draws. Oh my I felt woozy already. And no food or water or anything until those 3+ hours are done. Yippie. So I got my first blood at like 9:10 or something and they threw it to the lab to be tested and the results would come back in a matter of minutes. Meanwhile while we're waiting for the first draw to come back so know if we need to proceed with the test or not psycho scary blood taker lady gets on the phone talking about her bagel order. EXCUSE ME??? Ya'll do NOT understand how much in love with bagels I am. Seriously. If there is one around I eat it. Give me a gourmet bagel like from Panera or Brugers and I go nuts. Cream cheese?? My BFF. I can eat it plain out of the container seriously ask any member of my family. It's a bad addiction. And of course I have been craving them but I knew w/ my new no sugar/carb diet I was on they didn't quite fall into the healthy category. So anyways I hear her on the phone w/ PANERA talking about her bagel/cream cheese order and didn't know when she could come pick it up. Um excuse me??? I literally think I started drooling. I squeezed Steve's hand and gave him the widest eyed look I could manage. He started laughing so hard and squeezing my hand back. So guess what psycho blood taker lady did?? She called some other poor lab tech guy in that has never done glucose testing, so she could go and pick up her bagel order!!!! OK seriously?? So now I have some poor boy taking my blood and making me drink stuff that he doesn't have any clue about?? This did NOT go over well w/ Steven. He was about to either A) walk out or B) go tell them we wanted somebody who KNEW what they were doing or we were going to refuse anything. I told him to calm down and we'd see what happens and how it goes and then freak out on somebody if we had to. lol. So blood taker Lady (that I didn't care for anywhere and almost killed me taking my 1st blood draw I couldn't imagine if she did 3 more) left to get her dumb panera. Whoopie. So we're still just hanging out and have no idea what is going on. Before lab boy came Blood taker lady was mumbling something about how they were out of the glucose drink but some was coming from somewhere and I didn't completely understand. So once she went on her panera run lab boy came over and told us he was so so so sorry but they were out of the nasty orange drink and they were physically driving some clear across town from some main lab in South Omaha. (we are at the hospital across the st from our house which is just about as North as you can get in Omaha) Oh and did I mention Friday night we got about 8" of snow and the roads were still terrible? Yeah this was gonna take awhile. So we wait. And wait and wait. I guess they ordered it sometime at 7am and it didn't get there until 9:45. So I drink my crap at 9:50 and have to wait an hour to get more blood drawn. Oh yeah! My 1st levels came back very low which was good and I was very relived. Well, to a point who really wants to drink that orange crap and have their blood taken 3 more times?? But whatever I would do it if it meant there was a small possibility of being healthy and "normal". So we go and wander around the hospital for an hour. We found the gift shop, a computer lab so we check our email (and I updated my facebook ha! I'm a geek), a really cool empty office with a kickin fish tank so we hung out there and relaxed and watched the fishies, and then we found the cafeteria and Steve got a Burger for "lunch" at 10:30 am. LOL. I ran some things out to the car and when I got back Blood Taker lady was magically back from panera. Ugh. I was not happy to see her. So she took me back and ohmygord did this one hurt. I'm sure I was severely hydrated by this time, it had been over 14 hours since I had ate or drank anything. (Unless you count the nasty orange kool aid mixture or brushing my teeth at 7:30am) So my blood was not fully flowing. Sorry if this is TMI or if you have a weak stomach but I could actually feel the blood trying to come out my vain. That is how bad it was. I think Steve's hand turned purple from me squeezing it so hard. It was bad. So we wait for another hour. By this point Steve is exhausted and wanted to go home, I WANTED to go home but more then anything I wanted fruit and to drink a gallon of water. I was miserable and not handling it the best way I could. Steve sat in the un-comfty chairs in the waiting room and I joined him and we saw that "Notting Hill" was on tv, one of our most favorite movies ever. So we went and watched it for an hour until it was time for my next blood draw. Oh my I almost didn't make it. Somehow in that time scary blood taker lady left. No idea where she was going but I was praying she was not coming back. She was scary and hurt me. So finally after the longest hour of my life lab boy takes us back and does yet another draw. I asked him what my last draw came back at and he said he would try to check but didn't know if he had access to them. (since this obviously wasn't his normal job or station) So he did the blood draw perfectly I didn't barely feel a thing it was amazing. Of course after my arms starting killing me. Just so you understand here and get the full picture, on Thursday at my Dr apt Kayla took 2 vials for the initial glucose test out of my right arm, then the following Saturday (not 2 days but 9 days later) I had her take from the left arm, then from the right again, and then lab boy did the left AGAIN and I still had one to go. Yes I was in pain and it was ugly.
So after the last draw we were the only ppl left in the center so we decided to run home (we live about 4 minutes from the hospital) to rest and Steve needed some food and then we would run back for the last draw. Blah. I was SO SICK and TIRED and HUNGRY. It was bad. I started getting nauseous from going almost 16 hours with no food or water or anything. I changed my pants from jeans into gauchos and laid in bed. It was bad. I had some close calls but managed not to get sick. We went back and lab boy said he couldn't pull up the draws but he would call and see what he could do and if we could find out. I did not want to wait all weekend until my Apt Monday to find out the results. I wanted to know if I should be extra super careful or if I could have me some S U G A R. Haha. I am so bad! So we get the last one done, yes a 3rd poke in about a week in my poor right arm :( It was bad. But lab boy did a great job and again it didn't hurt until about 30 minutes later. By now it's past 1 o'clock. Almost 17 hours with no food or drink. And we could NOT find out the results. Because of privacy acts the lab could only reveal results to my Dr office not to me :( Oh my I was pissed and threw a fit. Seriously I did. Felt like I went through all that for nothing. It was bad. I needed to know and I needed to know RIGHT NOW. So I made Steven stop at Bueno and get me a taco and a tostada. LOL. I went home and scarfed it like no other, drank about 2 bottles of water and went to bed bloated like an elephant. I slept for 3 hours and woke up feeling much better and still hungry. I ate a couple snacks and laid around for awhile. I then got up the energy to go to walmart since we were completely out of food and drug my sorry weak butt around the store. I got home and ate some here and there stuff and laid on the couch the rest of the night. Oh did I mention that this was Valentine's Day?? Do I have the greatest hubby ever or what? He spent the entire morning/afternoon w/ me at the hospital, and then made a HUGE "bed" of blankets and pillows on the floor and laid and cuddled me. Plus he gave me the best sweetest card I have ever received in my life. Oh my I love that man! So all in all it wasn't the best Valentine's day ever. Ha. But we have each other and our little Bean and we're happy :) All I said was I wanted to be together and that is what I got!
So I managed to make it through the rest of the weekend on minimal sugar on my diet, and on Monday morning decided I would call the Dr office and just have them read me the results over the phone. My Apt wasn't until 4:15 and I had already waited 2 days I didn't want to have to wait all day Monday to! So I called at like 9:15 and Dr Reed wasn't in yet and he was the only one that could read the results so I should call back after like 11. :( Seriously? So I wait and call back at like 11:10 and got put on hold forever and a day and got to busy at work and had to hung up and call back :( So I called back at like 11:30 and they were so insanely busy I talked to Kayla, my nurse and she said Dr Reed hadn't read them yet! :O WHAT? So I just told her I could just wait until my apt at 4 and talk to Dr Reed then :( I was seriously bummed but managed not to completely lose it at work. So I finally got to leave for my apt at about 3:50 and got there and waited and waited and waited. Finally Dr Reed got so tired of waiting for me to come back there he called me back himself. LOL to funny! So I go back and Kayla is all confused and told me to go give my "sample" and she'd be right with me. So Dr Reed goes "oh did you hear about your test Rebecca?? You passed" and my face went white I'm sure and Kayla goes "no she failed" and I almost lost it ya'll. He was like "NO NO she failed the first one but passed the 3 hour" Hallelujah! I actually physically laid my head on Dr Reeds arm and breathed a sigh of relief. I told him I was at the hospital for over 5 hours and it was horrible and they were laughing at me. I told him about bagel lady and they were dying. He was like man I bet you wanted a bagel sooooo bad! LOL. It was great. So after that I was floating and felt so much better! I actually feel like this Baby will be OK and healthy and will get to come home w/ us in a normal time and no ICU or anything :) We also made a final decision about which hospital to labor at. The one we had the "3" hour test at is 2 minutes from our house we really weren't that impressed. Like I said to Steve I'm sure it's b/c it was a Saturday but his answer was well what if I go into labor on a SUNDAY?!? True! The other choice is a brand new Hospital that has only been open about 5-6 years, and I've heard it's like giving birth at the Hilton. Jacuzzi tubs in every L/D room, pedicures, manicures, and messages after you give birth, a level II Nicu (the other hospital by our house does not have one at all and if a problem arose she would have to go across town to a different hospital), and just an amazing facility. Oh and did I mention my Dr lives 5 minutes away from there?? So it might take us 20 minutes to get there but him only 5, and since I know he will on call for my delivery and I would like him to get there as quickly as possible and not drive clear across town to get to me :) I secretly wanted to deliver there since the day I found out I was pregnant (and even before honestly) b/c it's so new and pretty and nice but there was nothing wrong w/ the hospital closer to us. Well, after dealing w/ the lady that took 2 hours to get her computer turned on, then panera lady who left somebody in charge that didn't know what they were doing, we're done w/ that place. Scary! We will obviously go there if it's an emergency and we have to but for now we'll plan on the Hilton! Woohoo!
OK I could go on and on and on. I already have. I think this is about 1/2 a Harry Potter Book now so I'll stop. HA! But I was REALLY bored and wanted to pass the time at work and it worked! Plus I love going back and reading old posts and remembering these times and things I went through! YAY!
Also have to give a shout out to some of my favorite blogs:

Alison is about to give birth any day to her little "B"! YAY! Can't wait to see him :)
Also Mel can have her lil girl at any time and is feeling the lovely side effects of pregnancy as well. Pray for safe healthy perfect lil Babies!!!