The post where I whine and complain and moan.......

I'm sorry ya'll I ALWAYS try to be upbeat and positive, I really hate being a complainer and a negative person seriously I do. But this pregnancy and the end times are kicking my much-too-fat-booty. I am HUGE. I have stretch marks all over the entire front of my belly :( Which didn't decide to appear until about 2 weeks ago. My woobies are huge and fit in nothing anymore I swear and although they are NOT leaking (PTL) they hurt like mad. Saturday night we went to my parents for Easter dinner and about half way through dinner my stomach started cramping like the WORST PMS cramps in the entire world! Now when I was "normal" and would get my period the week before lovely Aunt Flo was supposed to show up I would cramp low and horrible and then it would move to my back. For a week. Blah. I do NOT miss that. But anywho, this is EXACTLY what it felt like. To a T. Except then my whole belly up to my woobies got hard as bricks. My Dad started freaking out and telling me how to breathe and that he was going to boil water. LOL. Love him. This seriously was constant for 4 1/2 hours and didn't stop until about 9:30 when we were home and on the couch. The tightness didn't stay the whole time it would come and go but the cramping pain was constant. So honestly I don't know what it was! A contraction I've been told starts, last for MAYBE a couple minutes and then goes away. Braxton hicks are just like a weird tight pain and then goes away right away. Am I wrong?? What the flip is my body doing?? Meanwhile while these are going on Ms Hailey is freaking out and flopping all over. I'm assuming her "house" was getting smaller and smooshed and she didn't care for it, but I thought if it was a contraction that the Baby settles down and stops moving, no?!?!? I AM SO CONFUSED!!!! I need somebody to get into my body and tell me exactly what I am feeling and exactly what is going on! So I did some research online (aka reading blogs lol) and saw that women that had these type of "cramps" usually went into labor with in 24-36 hours. I was so excited I almost woke my Hubby from his deep slumber at 11pm b/c even though I wasn't IN labor I was going to go INTO labor soon! I quickly decided if fluid wasn't leaking out of me or anything its best I do NOT wake him up. Haha. I hope he appreciates it! I slept like crap Saturday night and felt nothing all day Sunday. No cramping, pains, stretching NOTHING. I was quite disappointed. Until I got to work today. Holy moly. This girl is doing a number on me. It's been pretty much constant cramps since 8 this morning and still going strong. Plus my back is killing me. Oy vey! But it's totally fine if it means she is closer to coming. Like with in the next week?? Tomorrow??? Friday?? I'll take whatever I can get! So here is the part where I whine and complain;

-I slept about 4-5 hours last night despite being IN bed for 9 hours.
-Waking up with heartburn again despite being on the SAME prescription meds for over 5 weeks now. That WERE working but decided to stop at 1am and make me wake up to take a tums
-I rub my husbands back almost every day/night and try to make it feel better for him only for it to be totally worse today and he has to go get another professional message
-SWOLLEN. I am a walking water balloon I swear. It's horrible. My feet are at least 3 times the size they normally are. And they hurt. The extra fluid is putting so much pressure on my veins/bones they ache. It's really bad. Plus part of the reason I was up half the night was because I was trying to dig a hole through the skin under my big toe on my right foot it was so itchy and would not STOP itching.
-Due to swelling I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring for about 4 weeks now and it's depressing and I miss it and feel naked. Everyday I go to work I feel like I forgot something but it's just my rings
-My face is HUGE and the Mother In Law decides to take a million pictures of me and email them and they literally make me cry I am so HUGE and gross. Seriously I am vain but they are ugly and I can't look at them
-I am now missing my niece's 4th Birthday party tonight because I don't think I can sit in a gym with a bunch of little kids while I am in this much pain. And I REALLY wanted cake :(
-I am ONLY 37 weeks. Supposedly. I don't know when I conceived so I could be like 38 or 39 or even 40. But I still feel like since I haven't gone past my "due date" I have no right to complain.
-In fact I have no right to complain period because I am pregnant and so far have a perfect and healthy Baby growing inside of me when so many amazing women can't do this. Makes me feel guilty.
-This horrible taste in my mouth that I have 24-7 is horrible disgusting and I go through about 7 sticks of gum a day. It's so gross.
-My blood pressure has been "high normal" and I'm pretty sure it's due to my stupid horrible job and the people that I sit with, note how I didn't say that I WORK with because honestly none of them really work hence the stress and high blood pressure..............


OK that is enough I am stretching it looking for things to complain about now. Ha. I have my Dr apt today at 4:30 CST and I am debating wither or not to ask my Dr to strip my membranes. Any thoughts on this?? Honestly you won't offend me. I don't know how I feel. I know I really really want to move along the process and get her here sooner then later, but I am afraid it's to invasive and I should just wait until she is ready and my body is ready?!?!?! Plus I feel like 37 weeks and 4 days is to early. If I was like 39 weeks then yea. But the swelling, blood pressure, contractions, back labor, I'm just miserable plus I am the MOST impatient person on the planet and NEED to meet this little girl TONIGHT!! ha. I still have a feeling she isn't going to make her appearance before next week but we'll see what Dr Reed says. I'm getting excited and anxious and NERVOUS about labor but know that God has blessed me this far and he will be with me the whole time!
This past weekend was VERY productive for me! Although we got GOBS of clothes and blankets and great things at my shower, I knew I still didn't have ENOUGH to get me through the first few months and a friend of a friend was selling all her girls clothes and wanted me to come over and go through stuff and buy whatever I want before she has a garage sale in a couple weeks. So me and the mother in law trekked across town and got about 35 outfits/sleepers for $40! It was awesome, I had really no 3-6 month stuff so that is what I focused on. What if this little girl is huge and whips right through all her 0-3 stuff?? So I got a bunch of super cute and CHEAP stuff. Most of looks like it hasn't been worn at all it's in such great shape, and most of it wasn't for more then $3 an outfit! YAY! Thanks Jennifer!
Then on Saturday afternoon me and Steve rushed off to my most FAVORITE photographer in the world, Lesley to do belly shots! They turned out AWESOME and her camera is MAGIC and didn't make me look as fat as most have lately! I should get the disk of all the pictures in the next couple days and I'll have a picture over load for you! They turned out amazing and I'm sure will look even better after she retouches them and changes all the effects and that fun stuff. I'm excited! :)
Then yesterday morning I didn't my usual Sunday chores, laundry, misc pick up stuff around the house, but then I also made a double batch of sloppy joes, a small pan of enchiladas and a big batch of chicken taco meat and froze it all for Steve. I felt VERY accomplished! Oh we also finally got the base put in my car and I got mainly all my hospital stuff packed and ready to go! Heaven help me if I have to rush off to the hospital and Steve has to get things for me :) Love you Honey!
OK seriously this is so long and BORING! I am just trying to get everything down so I remember all these times, good and bad! I know I will look back and laugh! And remember to be checking facebook for updates and I'll try to write a blog or make Steve write a quick blog when she is here! Not sure how long it will be before a picture gets up since I won't have my photo software on the hospital computer or Andy's laptop but I'll see what I can do :) Loves to all and hope you had a great Easter rejoicing Christ being risen!

Showered w/ Love

Alright girls not sure how long and winded this will be but stayed tuned for LOADS of pictures!!! :)

So today I am officially FULL TERM! 37 Weeks Baby I made it! There were a LOT of struggles and hard times to get here and honestly I wasn't sure I was strong enough or going to make it but I did and I am actually pretty proud of myself. I'm sorry if that sounds conceited but this has NOT been an easy road. God has thrown a lot of curves at me and so far everything is still fine and Baby Bean is healthy and growing and doing amazing! I seriously can NOT wait to see her! Oh my! I'm going to write another letter to her probably tomorrow or Monday so I'll leave details for that..............
I went to my Dr Monday and my B/P was on the high side but still fairly normal. Dr R seemed a little concerned but gave me warning signs, none of which I have had so I think I'm fine. Seriously it's this stupid pointless job I have I swear! Ha. Less then 3 weeks, less then 3 weeks, that is my new chant over and over to get me through the day! Other then that I haven't gained to much weight somewhere between 20-25 lbs and honestly ya'll with how un-healthy I eat and bad I am I thought I would balloon and gain like over 70 lbs. I am serious. So I am pretty happy with myself, and hope it falls right off especially with the help of Breastfeeding :) My goal is to be as cute or more then freaking Julie in her after birth pic here, LOL Love ya Julie :)
So yeah anyways, then I had my first "check" oy vey. It wasn't that bad but it wasn't pleasant. I hope she comes sooner then later because between the weight check and then the blood pressure check (which I am certin the weight check is what spikes my b/p I can't STAND seeing a number that high. Isn't that vain of me? Just keeping it real people), and then getting "check checked" I can't do this much longer! Haha.
Anyways, he said her head is VERY VERY low and "right there", and I was 1 cm dilated!!!! I was hoping for 2 but I'll take 1. Heck I could probably say I am 2 because my Dr has HUGE man hands and when my BFF was in labor he said she was 3 and not even 2 minutes later he left the room so the nurse checked and said she was at 5. LOL. So who knows! So my body knows what to do and is getting ready! We are in all out panic mode at the house now though! lol. We need to get a car seat base installed (tried last night in Steve's Saturn but it's got a TINY backseat and didn't work in the middle b/c of how far back Steve puts his seat, so we'll put it in mine for sure and then move it to one of the sides in Steve's car this weekend. Such a mess!), the changing table painted and up, and then hang stuff on the wall and she can come! We put up her swing in the living room, I got her bag packed just need her diaper bag I ordered on walmart to come in, and all her clothes/blankets/socks/hats/bibs washed and organized! Yay! So honestly if she comes tomorrow I will freak but we are pretty much ready :) Can't believe she could come anytime now! I still think she will be in there for at least 2 more weeks. We'll see! :) I am going to be cooking all weekend and freezing meals for Hubs, he is super extra picky so I want him to have stuff on hand he can pop in the microwave or oven real quick and heat up. Aren't I the bestest wifey in the world? Haha. Also a lady I work with is having a huge garage sale at the end of the month but she is letting me come over Saturday morning and go through all the her girls baby clothes and stuff and get whatever I want! How awesome! We don't need much but I want a couple more 0-3 and 3-6 outfits. I'm excited!
Then even more exciting is that our most amazing wedding photographer Lesley is gifting us a Maternity/belly session!!! I am so freaking excited! I am totally swollen and HUGE and have stretch marks but hopefully she can photoshop some of it out! I'm pretty excited, I am even making Hubs come with me and join in on the picture taking fun! I'll make sure to post lots when we get them back and tell you how it went. I'm nervous I haven't looked the best in pictures lately, my face is HUGE and swollen and it's depressing. I am trying not to be vain or whatever about it but I look like an elephant that can't open her eyes because of all the fluid. It's bad. Seriously. I am being VERY picky about what pictures I post on this blog because I am so embarrassed. Anyways.........

My shower was amazing! There was about 18 people there and we were sooooo blessed! I think I opened presents honestly for over an hour it was insane! We got so many clothes, blankets, hats, diaper care stuff, it was amazing! Everything was so sweet and cute and I loved it all! Some of my cousins from out of state even sent presents to my Mom's house how sweet! I was over whelmed, it was truely awesome to see how loved we are and how many people are going to love and support and help raise this little girl :)

So honestly that is our life right now! Nothing else to report! We're just waiting and getting ready and trying to spend lots of time together and with our friends before our lives completely change for the better! I am making my brother bring up his laptop to the hospital so I can post a quick blog (I'll try to do a picture but not sure), and probably update my facebook page! Pray for a quick easy delivery and a HEALTHY perfect little girl that gets to come home with us!!!
Now on with the pictures!

This is the cake my sis in law Shelley made. Tell me how talented she is! It's simply adorable and was amazingly delicious! It was chocolate cake with like a fudgy chocolate filling. Oh my yum!

My bestest girlies! The hostesses. My sister Natalie, Me, Meriam, and Meriam's little Sahar. Such gorgeous girls and we always have such a fun amazing time together!

Me and my Meriam "Murmaid" she is so gorgeous! And I look like.........well a cow.

My Momma, me and sis. My Mom would hate me if she knew this was up but she looks WAY better then me so whatever! It's MY blog haha

Me and the yummy cake again.

36 weeks and 4 days. Huge and looking miserable but really excited and happy!

Opening her coming home outfit from her Auntie Megan. I LOVE it so so adorable!

Hailey's first handmade quilt from my Mom of course. Mom has made these for years (even sold them) but this one is extra special to me! I love it and can't wait to put her on the floor for tummy time on it :)

Sorry to discriminate because we got so many adorable, cute, fun things, but this is one of my FAVORITE outfits, from Aunt Natalie. I can not WAIT to dress her up!!!

Wedding

I'm a blog thief but thought this looked fun and wanted to fill it out! You guys go do it to! :) A full detailed post w/ pictures coming up...............

1) When was your wedding day?
September 23th 2007


2) What day of the week was it?
Sunday


3) Did you get married in a church?
Nope, outside at a private Clubhouse



4) How many in your wedding party?
2 Bridesmaids, 2 groomsmen, a flower girl, a ring bearer, and lots of special "helpers"



5) How many guests were invited to your wedding?
Right around 130 but only about 95 showed up


6) How long where you together before the engagement?
1 year and 3 months

7) How long did you wait to Tie The Knot after your proposal?
about 9 months

8) How did he propose??

Read about our engagement HERE

9) Did you register for gifts? If yes, where?
Target and JCPenny

10) Who did you hire as your photographer & videographer?
Photographer; Lesley who is AMAZING and I love to death and has become a good friend. We didn't want to spend the $ on a videographer which I don't disagree with to this day but I really really really wish we had it on video so I could go back and watch it and catch things I missed, but it's probably best I HATE seeing myself on tv and hearing my own voice. lol

11) Did you have a DJ or a band?
A DJ who was amazing

12) What was your First dance to?
Could Not Ask For More by Edwin McCain, tear up every time I hear it to this day!

13) Did your father walk you down the aisle?
Yup!

14) What color were the bridesmaids' dresses and groomsmen's vests?
Bridesmaids dresses were a deep red color. LOVE them they looked so gorgeous on my skinny little bridesmaids. The guys just wore dress pants, button down shirt and a tie. We went super casual

15) Did you have a bridal shower?
Yup 2! One was with the "Mothers" and was awesome I got so much great stuff! The 2nd was with all my girlfriends and was a spa party it was super fun!

16) What type of limo did you get?
Didn't get 1, waste of $ we didn't go to/from anywhere, ceremony and reception were held at the same place

17) What were your flowers?
I had deep red roses with white tulips (fav flower!), and the girls had all white roses with silver jewel things in thiers. They were amazing and I loved them!

18) What flavor was your cake?
We had a 3 tiered cake w/ 3 different layers. 1st layer (that we cut) was chocolate chip (for Steve the only way I could get him to eat any was if it was chocolate chip), the 2nd was pink champagne cake w/ pink champagne filling, bottom and best was almond cake w/ raspberry filling. DELISH

19) What type of wedding gown?
A line, strapless, bodice was full of beading and the bottom had a scalloped edge. I had been w/ my girlfriends and picked out a dress that was totally plain and only had a bow on it, took my Mom, Sister, and Steve's Mom back to show them and they hated it and talked me into trying on dresses w/ beading and that were "puffy", I argued but wanted to make them happy and fell in LOVE w/ this dress the instant it was on. I even got to take it home that night!

20) What was the weather like that day?
like 85, sunny and 70 mile an hour winds. But it didn't rain and that is all I cared about!

21) Did you have an open bar?
NO. We were cheap and only had homemade punch and water. I didn't want anybody ruining my wedding because of alcohol either......

22) Where did you go on your Honeymoon?
Estes Park Colorado. BEST VACATION EVER. Wish we could go back. It was so relaxing and fun and I LOVED being w/ my HUSBAND!!!!

23) What was your favorite thing about your wedding day?
Besides the fact that we were married and together forever, was seeing Steve's face when I walked down the aisle. He swore he wouldn't be emotional and he wasn't going to cry and I saw him tear up when he first saw me. Amazing. I lost it to. Things I wish we had on video.........

24) Did anything go wrong?
I was over an hour late to the Clubhouse to get ready so we didn't get to do any pictures before the wedding, oh and the clubhouse got broken into and my poor friends thought my dress was in the building (it wasn't my Mom had it) and thought it got stolen. Other then that everything seriously went perfect! If it didn't everybody did a good job of hiding it from me :)

25) How long have you been married?
1 year, 6 months and 15 days!

Our amazing cake!

This is my FAVORITE picture from the 8000 Lesley took. It's just a candid, but you can see the Clubhouse behind us, and Steve is playing with my hair like he always does (which I LOVE and think is so sweet and caring), and we're both laughing and having fun like always. Sorry if I've posted it on here before but you get to see it again! It just totally captures and sums us up :)

Um yeah

Oh my so my last post got posted. It was an accident (God bless you for reading it I didn't even spell check the thing and I know it was all over the place!). You girls are amazing. It took everything I had in me not to sit at my desk and cry. You guys get me and know what I am feeling even though we're thousands of miles apart! Honestly I am fine. I don't want you all to think I sit at home and cry and stew and think something is going to happen. I am totally wicked excited and thrilled about this Baby! I won't let us live in a bubble and be "afraid" of God or anything else. I know he is a loving FORGIVING God and I thank him everyday for that! I just had a mumbled jumbled mess in my head and in my heart and I needed to get it down and get it out. I actually feel relieved and better since putting it down. I am free of all those feelings :) Even though I am scared to death of some people reading it and judging me I am human and I am scared and I let myself be vulnerable so whatever! So anyways thanks again to all my girls I love you guys you’re the best!!! I will probably defiantly need you in the first couple weeks after Hailey is here and I am a hormonal crying mess that is sleep deprived! Ha :) Yet I am so excited and thrilled to have those problems!!!

My parents came over last night and we got some more stuff finished up in Bean's room. Curtains got hung, and we sanded the changing table I bought off craigslist (LOVE it), it had a HORRIBLE paint job so that is my project this weekend is to give it a couple of coats of white paint! Woohoo!
My shower is tomorrow and I am soooooooo excited. I will feel SO much better after being able to wash clothes and blankets and get more things organized and ready! I have Monday off to go shop and buy necessities and do fun things like put her car seat base in my car and stuff! I am so weird the things I am excited about............I might even drive the Hubby nuts and get her swing up in the living room so he can stare at it for the next 4 weeks. Hehe.

So other then that nothing else exciting is going on with us. Steve pulled like 3 muscles in his back :( So my poor Baby missed some time this week at work, but did get a deep tissue message which seemed to help! Along with his AMAZING wifey who messages and helps him ice a hundred times a day and night. Haha. Hopefully he will be all better after this weekend! I really rely on him to help me since I can't bend down or do hardly anything for myself anymore, so it's been a trying week and we're trying not to let each other do to much which is interesting because we end up yelling at each other for getting up and not asking for help and then just sitting there laughing about it :)

I have D R A M A at my work. I am just trying to make it through these next 3 1/2-4 weeks. Blah! Any day after next Thursday (37 weeks) she wants to arrive I will be soooooooo happy! I have my first weekly dr apt on Monday and I get checked. Please pray for some movement in that area, I would love to be like 2 cm dilated! Haha. I highly doubt it but any progress is progress and I'll take it! I really don't want to go past my due date if possible!
OK I'm out of here. I'll make sure to update Tuesday or Wednesday next week w/ shower pictures and dr apt results. Love you all and have a blessed weekend! <3