May 20, 2009

Labor and Delivery part III

OK so my lil Princess is asleep (on her tummy cuz I am the worlds WORST Mother that loves her own sleep and peace and quiet and this is the only way I can get my child to sleep more then an hour at a time. Sue me, and yes I will lie to our pedi about this at our next visit in a couple weeks. HA), so I'll try to continue our story. I apologize if these are totally un readable and horrible b/c I don't have time to write them much less proof read them like I used to! Ya'll are lucky I am spell checking. Ha ha.
OK so we got a new room, which was lovely and had a window, we had TONS of visitors that day. My Mom and brother, my Dad and brother again, my bff Meriam and her cousin who was visiting from Cali, Steve's parents, Steve's brother his wife and 4 kids, and my sis and her hubby! Lots of stimulation! So at 2am after our feeding Bean screamed bloody murder until 4:30am. I cried to a LOT. I tried feeding again, rocking chair, changing her diaper, changing her clothes, in her bassinet thing, a butt load of different positions on me, everything! I finally called the nurse and God bless her she came in and helped me. She made me get Bean naked and hold her on my chest as tight as I could so that she was still breathing. Worked like a friggin charm and we slept for 2 1/2 hours like that. My arms killed and I was totally uncomfortable but I was so happy.
Steve called me in the morning to tell me that he was flat on his back in the living room and COULD. NOT. MOVE. At all. It's a totally LONG story but weeks before I delivered his back was hurting really really bad. It's an even LONGER story how he hurt it. Basically he slipped a disk or SOMETHING bad in high school and it never healed properly. So now it was rearing it's ugly head again, a mere 13 years later. When I give birth. Oh joy. So I told him not to worry about us and just get better and come see us later. He would be able to move after going to the chiropractor or something right?? So he found a chiro that was in our directory of insurance and made an apt for that afternoon. He went and got x-rays and then went back later in the afternoon to review them and get "cracked". This was HUGE. Bigger then we ever could have through. He had a slipped disk and 3 smushed vertebrae. Or something along those lines, honestly I can't remember exactly but it was bad. Also (pardon my non Dr descriptions here), a normal person's spinal cord is curved a lil at the top of your back and then goes straight all the way down. (I think?) His was completely opposite. This was causing his legs to be 3 inches different in size. Holy cow. This was major. I did not get to see my husband for the next 2 days. I almost died. It was horrible. He missed out on SO much bonding time w/ Hailey and I was an emotional wreck. I had my family and his parents come visit me everyday but it was still bad. I was a mess. His Mom ended up having to bring us home from the hospital, and as much as I love her to death and am so eternally grateful for all they did for us I still can't help but feel jipped. It's supposed to be a huge couple/family/loving moment for husband and wife to bring home their first Baby. I came home to a pit hole of a house and a husband laying flat on his back unable to even walk to the bathroom for the next 2 1/2 weeks. :( It was so bad! I literally had to wait on him hand and foot PLUS take care of a newborn PLUS run the house and try to take care of myself! Luckily (PTL) his Dad came everyday to take him to the chiro and a couple times swimming at the YMCA for therapy. Slowly he got better but honestly I think it was one of the hardest times in my life. I don't know how I survived. I won't lie and say I wasn't depressed and I cried A LOT but we got through and omg to see that boy walking upright w/out holding onto the arms of the computer chair (cuz it's on wheels so it was his "walker") was amazing. Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself and curing God I realized what a blessing all the timing was. If Bean hadn't come 2 weeks early and had come on her due date Steve would have had to work instead of be home w/ me those first 2 weeks. And if he had hurt his back 2 weeks before she was born then he would have been out of work for 4 weeks or could have possibly lost his job. How amazing is God's timing? I am still praising him for this. And honestly as bad as it sounds this was all a big blessing in disguise. His back is healing and hopefully if he keeps up w/ it it won't bother him ever again and we will be able to lead somewhat more normal lives w/out worrying "Oh is this going to hurt his back/knees/legs?" YAY! I also learned a lot about myself, I leaned on God SO much for strength and guidance, as well as others. I do NOT ask for help I am a do-it-all-myself kind of person and having to ask people to go grocery shopping for me, and cook us dinner, and do my laundry was especially hard! I am also stronger then I thought. Not to toot my own horn but it was HARD and I am strong and I can handle a lot and not break down! YAY! So now that Daddy is all better and healing and back at work me and Bean take it easy during the day. I try to take naps but honestly we just sleep in WAY late and then lay on the couch most of the day :) It's great!
She is not the easiest Baby. I prayed for MONTHS before she was born for God to give me a happy peaceful Baby that didn't cry and was a good sleeper/eater. He did not give me this at all. I guess he is testing me, and I hope I am passing because I sure am taking to him a LOT and asking him for help and strength. She cries a lot. She is very unhappy in this world. I don't believe in colic but if I did I would say she has it. I think she is just scared and cold and doesn't like it here. She gets over stimulated by all the light and the tv and people's voices it scares her and her brain has a hard time turning off at night. She is getting amazingly better as she gets older and we are limiting outings and visitors which is HARD as heck for this on-the-go-social-as-a-butterfly-girl but we're making it and it's worth it to not have 4 1/2 hour crying fits. Yes one lasted from 6-11:30pm one night. And I was at walmart for an hour of it and came home to a crazy upset Hubby. Poor guy! So we haven't had one of those in almost 2 weeks, she mainly just cries if I wait to long to feed her (oops), or if she is overly tired. I think the longest in the last 2 weeks she has cried is an hour and half. Which is bad but nothing compared to what it was. I am also getting to know her so well and know what she likes and doesn't like, and while it changes daily we're doing better. :)
So I think that pretty much catches you up! Oh her hip didn't form properly. It's hard to explain google "Hip dysphasia" if you want to know more. It's VERY common with first babies and especially girls for some reason, but it still upset me. Basically the ball and socket didn't join together properly in her first couple of weeks so she has to wear a special brace that pulls her legs up and out to the side and basically shoves the ball into the socket where it will then close up properly. If we didn't do this brace she would need surgery and would be in pain her whole life. So we had numerous dr visits, ultrasound, and now this UGLY brace. I cried 3 times the first day she got it, it looks like a body cast but we are used to it now and it doesn't bother her at all and I know it's not hurting her and is for the good in the end. :)
Oh before I forget she was also quite jaundice so if you see pictures of her in her first week she was totally yellow and had bad coloring :( I was a freaking psycho about this. I lost sleep, cried, and almost made myself sick over it. I don't know why, first time Mother thing I guess. I just wanted a perfect Baby, and I thought she was really sick and was so worried about her! I fed her honestly about every hour and a half and sat in the sun for about 2 hours a day. It was bad. But I got her better and she gained almost a pound in a week! :) YAY!
Alright I am out of here. I am almost all caught up on blogs (went from over 500 to 300 b/c I deleted over half the ones I was following on reader. Whoa! Things to do while I was at work :) Ha. Now I am down to 80 so I'm sure I will get through them tomorrow) so I should be back to blogging and commenting more. I love your comments so keep them coming! YAY! Love you all. Pictures coming soon............

1 comment:

Julie said...

I can see how hard it would have been for you in those first days/weeks with Steve out of commission. Being a new mom is hard. Being a new mom who also has to take care of someone else is darn near enough to cause your head to explode.

Glad things are going better for all involved now - and keep an eye on what you are eating, it will affect Ms. Bean more than you might realize!!