2 posts in one week, WHAT?!?! Ha. Don't expect it from me often, but lately I feel like I have a lot to say. This will be another heavy VERY EXTREMELY TMI, but sometime in the next couple days I will do a fun post to offset all of these serious/gross ones. Ha.
So I never fully explained or documented our challenge to get pregnant. It wasn't that I was embarrassed, or un-willing to talk about it, almost all of my close friends knew was what was going (and honestly probably knew much more then they wanted too! Ha) on, but we never told our families or anything. I just didn't want to take heat, or hear those dreaded words "Oh if you stop trying then you'll get pregnant" or "you worry to much" NOT what people trying to get pregnant and month after month of getting disappointed want to hear. Trust me.
It all started in May of 2007. Well, technically it started when I was 13 and got my first period. I will never ever forget my first period. In my family we weren't open about that kind of stuff. My Mom never talked to us about that stuff. I learned the birds and the bees from my best friend. So I never talked to my Mom about my totally heavy horrible periods. I'm sure she knew, as all Mother's do, but we never openly talked about it. It was horrible. Clotting for days. Then no period for 2 or 3 months. It was bad. Some months I would have 2 or 3 HEAVY clotting bleeding periods and then nothing for a month. It was bad. So I finally broke down and went to a dr and told her I was loosing so much blood I could barely walk up the 3 flights of stairs in our house. I was so anemic. I bruised extremely easily, it was bad. So she put me on pills. I H A T E D them. I had every single bad side effect that was on the warning label. Depression, weight gain, tired, everything. So I went back and told her I threw them away. So she moved me onto Depo-provera. I have a love/hate relationship with depo. It made my periods completely disappear. Who doesn't love that?? No more bleeding or anemia or anything! YAY! It can also completely ruin your chance at getting pregnant for many years. I was on Depo for 6 years people. I so wish a Dr had gotten a hold of me and told me the long term effects from it, but I don't think there have been many studies done and honestly I am one who has probably been on it the longest. So skip ahead to May of 2007 I switch OB's and meet with my new dr. I tell him I am getting married in Sept and would like to get pregnant asap after the wedding. He puts me on pills (YAZ. Best.pills.EVER), to regulate my cycle, and tells me to start prenatals after the wedding to help me be more fertile. I did not have high hopes. I have known since I was young I would have trouble getting pregnant. Call it a sick sense or what have you, but I have read SOOOO many blogs about people and their journey through IF and they all say it to. It's weird. So I take my yaz and get my period the first month! And it comes on time every single month after that! I was so happy my body was doing what it was supposed to be doing! But only with synthetic hormones. Not good. So we get married, go on honeymoon, everything is great. I stop taking my pills as of the first week in October 2007. The following months are as follows;
-October 2007-May 2008- Have a regular period every month. Cycles last about 28-30 days. Am totally and completely happy and think we will be prego right away. Yeah not so much. Charting and taking my BBT every month and see no change what-so-ever. Figure out I am not ovulating and start looking online and for blogs for help.
May 2008- go back to OB for yearly exam. Tell him about my issues or what have you, and show him my BBT charts. He agrees I am not Oing either but I should be. (now this is where we disagree. He told me that since I haven't been on the deop shot for a year my body has completely rid it self of those hormones and should be fine and ready for baby by now. After 6 years I really think it will take longer but what do I know) So he tells me we will do 3 months of fert. pills and if I'm not pregnant in 3 months he will move on to testing and possibly seeing an RE.
Now as I have said in many many of my blogs I LOVE LOVE LOVE my OB. I know I needed his help to get pregnant and he is the expert and I know nothing about any of this stuff. But he was never good at explaining anything to me. I had no idea about what I would be taking, what he expected, nothing. I was very very frustrated. I didn't even know what questions to ask. Oh how my world has changed. I know everything about IF now, but knew nothing then. All my knowledge has come from reading online. So it was extremely frustrating to go into all of this so blindly.
So at that appointment Dr Reed write me a prescription for Clomid and sends me on my way. I have never in my life heard of this drug or know anything about it. Before I filled it I checked my friend WebMD and read up about it. Well, I read those magic little worlds "multipules" and about had a heart attack. Me and Hubby defer on selective reduction in pregnancy so we fought for a couple days before I even filled the prescription. We decided to go ahead and try it and if I ended up prego with 7 babies God would show us what to do from there.
So in May I took 50 mg of Clomid for 5 days after my period started. Charted and saw no difference in BBT at all. Went in for blood work and got a call the next day that I did NOT O. :( Sad.
June 2008- took 100 mg of Clomid for 5 days after period started. Charted and saw no difference in BBT at all. Went in for blood work and got a call the next day that I did NOT O. :( Sad.
July 2008- Took 100 mg of Clomid for 5 days after period started. My Dr added a lovely little friend called Metformin to my clomid. OMG Met SUCKED. One of the side effects of it is that it empties your stomach. Glory. I did not throw up at all, so you figure out how everything emptied. It S U C K E D major. After taking it for 8 of the 12 days or something I decided to throw it away and stop taking it. It made me way to sick and the side effects were not worth it to us at that time. I went in for blood work and got a call the next day that yet again my blood work shows no change and I did not ovulate. :( Sad.
I should also add that July 24th 2008 we sold our house and moved in with the in-laws. I did not want to be pregnant while living with them, and then moving in January. And I wasn't comfortable actively trying to get pregnant in their house. Something about it just irked me the wrong way. Did I really want to tell my child "you were conceived in your Grandparents house" um nothankyou.
I started my period July 2nd and waited in August for it to start. Nothing. I had been like clock work the previous months so I was confused. I took a test a couple days after it was supposed to start and it was negative. So whatever I went on my merry way, then my Birthday comes (the 13th) and I think I tested again that week. I had been drinking and going out with friends for my Birthday and wanted to be safe. Again negative. So I called my Dr office to see if we could talk about what to do from here, and to basically tell them I wasn't charting anymore and we would talk next May at my next yearly exam. Lisa my BFF at the front desk told me he was booked SOLID for 3 weeks but I could see his partner Barb who was a N.P. I knew Barb and loved her so I was comfortable seeing her and not Dr. Reed. I made an appointment to see Barb on Thursday the 21st. So I forget about it and wait for my period to come. The night of the 20th I decide to take another pregnancy test (well, mainly because I had 3 sitting in the drawer) to make SURE I wasn't because I knew that would be her first question. Low and behold the awesome words PREGNANT came up!!
You can read my blog here you'll see I called and got in after 2 positives and 3 negatives. So my Dr decides to do a ultrasound and told me I was less then 2 weeks pregnant. WHAT? I was completely off all pills, and didn't have a period. Can you ovulate when not having a period?? Every time during my pregnancy the baby would be further along then the last scan, moving forward my due date. So who knows. We never went off a conception date, only according to what the U/S said. So who knows! I honestly do not know when or how I got pregnant. I am guessing it was during the time I was on the clomind/metformin combo but if that is true then Hailey's due date was off by over 2 weeks, and since she was only 6 pounds and showed a lot of signs of being born before 39 weeks I believe she was. But honestly it drives me nuts to not know. I know it doesn't matter, the ending was perfect, I got the ultimate prize, and she is perfect and happy and healthy now. It's just so weird.
Now for those of you who are judging me and telling me I should have gone a more "natural" route or found a midwife instead of going to my OB. I agree with you to an extent. But I was sooooooooo naive and didn't know anything about what was going on! Now I would do more research and try herbs and things. From what I could find online there are 2 midwife offices in Omaha. I called one and never got an answer or machine. The other I called and talked to the most horrible woman in the world. I told her I was having trouble getting pregnant and my dr was trying to put me on pills that I didn't know anything about and wanted some help and guidance and was wondering if I could meet with somebody. She RUDELY told me that they don't see people unless they are pregnant and to call back when I was pregnant and HUNG UP ON ME. I think I sat at my desk for 10 minutes crying. I was sooooooo upset. Now of course I know 3 people in Omaha who have midwives and I could ask them for references but then I didn't know that. So so so frustrating!
So there is my story. An amazing outcome. I don't feel any differently about my dr, I still love him but I wish I could have done somethings differently.
**Edited to add**
Please don't think I am ungrateful or anything of that nature. To be praying for a Baby my whole life, trying for 10 months, 3 months "assisted" and then end up Pregnant on "accident" I know how blessed I am/was. It was truly a gift from God and if you were brought to my blog looking for answers and are going through something similar, I am praying for you. I don't know your name or story, but God does and he will give you what you want in HIS timing just like He did me!
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