December 19, 2009


isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Yeah it's great but there are some NOT so great parts. Here is MY take. Just warning ya I am keeping it real and graphic. I tell all my friends w/out children the TRUTH. I do not sugar coat it and tell them to have kids like other ppl. I tell them the truth and how hard it is and to cherish their "single" years and take lots and lots of vacations and date nights w/ their spouses cuz once they kids come all that "fun" stuff magically disappears :)

Things people do NOT tell you about having a Baby:

They tell you and you will hear about how HARD nursing is. Sure. You get it, you will have troubles in the beginning and you'll be tired and it will suck but to stick w/ it all it will get better. All of this is true. But does anybody tell you that when your kid is 5-7 months old they will become so aware of the world you will have to sit in a pitch black dark room nursing w/ no noise, no lights, no tv nothing. Can you say B O R E D while you kid takes 20 minutes on EACH side to nurse yet still be hungry and have to do it all over again in 90 minutes? Yeah nobody tells you that.

Or about all the WEIRD post pardum things. Like stretch marks on your B**bs, yeah SO attractive. Or hemorrhoids for 6 months people (yea 6 whole months), or the Sasquatch hair that will suddenly start growing out of your forehead. Not your head people like the friggin middle of your forehead causing you to look retarded if you put your hair up in a ponytail.

Nobody tells you that your kid will become to attached to you from nursing once an hour and being w/ only you 24/7 that they will hate any other person to hold them. While this is annoying, secretly (or not so secretly) it will make your heart jump w/ joy that they stop crying the second you hold them cuz they love you and only you :)

Nobody tells you it is "normal" for your kid to stick all their fingers in their mouth WHILE eating their cereal, which is hilarious and annoying at the same time. Causing a HUGE mess for you to clean up 2X a day.

That when you attempt to descpline your 8 month old and they laugh at you, you know your in BIG trouble

That nobody makes sleeper/footy pajama's after 9 months??? Excuse me?? I want my 12 mo old to have their feet covered please! Whateva

That carrying a baby/infant in their carseat in the winter with 492097 blankets on them, a hat, binkie, and snowsuit feels like your carrying 75 lbs worth of Baby. Holy arm hurting moly

How incredibly bad "food" poop stanks. OHMYGORD my house will never be the same people

That you will let your child play with a pen/calculator/humidifier/phone of any kid just so you can spend .3 seconds checking your email once a day

One word: Masticates. Praise God I do not have this but my "boss" girl has it and is clearly going t0 die from it. Oh I am praying and praying I do not ever have to experience this. Looks and sounds HORRID.

That you want to show off your Baby and tell stupid stories about how yesterday she said "oijugkoshrubheth" and it was thee cutest thing EVER to everybody including the guy at the tire store. They do NOT care but listen and smile and think your crazy. But you MUST tell them all about how great your Baby is.

That you are lucky if you get to shower 4 out of 7 days. And don't get me started on shaving your legs........can anybody say um October??? Yeah you do the math.......