My Big 1 year old

Oh my sweet baby Ellie, how is it that you can be one year old already?!?!?! Time is flying by to quickly for this Momma's heart. Well, in most ways. I am ready and have been ready for the past 9+ months for you to sleep through the night. You don't seem to understand how precious sleep is in this house! One day you will get it ;) I'm trying to re-teach your big sister as well, what is with you girls?? I guess you both just LOVE your Momma so much you have to be with me all the time. No time for sleeping when we could be cuddling huh?!? Here are some stats and fun things about my sweet Christmas girl;

-You probably weigh between 19-20 lbs. You really slimmed down and aren't a chunker since you learned to crawl. We don't have health insurance for awhile so you won't go to your 12 mo well check. We will check your weight probably at 15 mo! You are super healthy and growing, right on track with your age and clothes size so I know your fine :)

-You wear a size 4 diaper. You could fit into a 3 but I just bought bigger sizes so that is what you wear ;) It holds more too so I don't have to change you as often. A win-win for Momma if you ask me!

-You wear mostly size 12 mo clothes. Some 12 mo pants are to long for my short girl. My poor girls will never be tall super modals. That's OK you're both still gorgeous to me and your Daddy! You can wear 9 mo pants, some 9 mo shirts, and some 6-9 mo stuff and 6-12 mo stuff. Baby clothes are CONFUSING. They need universal sizing between all brands. This Momma can't keep up!

-This is where I would insert what size shoe you wear, but my dear you are just like Hailey and HATE shoes. You ball up your toes and refuse to let me put them on you. Whatever I give up! So no shoes for you. Momma doesn't let you walk in public places anyway so it is what it is! Your sister did this for about a year and now is completely obsessed with shoes (to the point of driving her Mother crazy) so I have hope!

-You never have and never will take a binkie. That is OK with me, you never wake up during the night cuz it fell out :) BUT I can't just pop it in and you go back to sleep. You MUST nurse if you wake up at night to go back to sleep. Ugh. Weening is not going to be easy or fun with you!

-You nurse about 5 times a day. 6-7am, 10am, 1:30pm, 5pm, and at 10pm. I am trying to get rid of the 5pm and 10am. But honestly it makes me just as sad as you, I know what your crying for and I give in! It's my last little baby to nurse so if it takes us 6 more months or so to fully ween that is OK with me. I like that we have more flexibility and I can be away from you for longer time periods. We'll get there :) Of course I wouldn't be offended if you dropped the 6-7 am feeding and slept from 10:30-9am :hint hint: but you have a pretty good little schedule and are flexible!

-You still nap twice a day. At 11am for about 30-45 minutes and then in the afternoon from 2-4:15 with Sissy. 99% of the time I just swaddle you and plop you in your crib and your out, no fussing! I also have to wake you both times. Silly girl, NIGHT time is for sleeping not during the day! I swear you haven't grown out of the newborn nights/days confusion ;)

-You are 1, and you are STILL swaddled. Not from lack of trying on my part. I have tried sooo many times to not use it, or keep your arms out. It might work for a day or 2 then we're back to screaming uncontrollably until I swaddle your arms. I know you won't go to high school and have to be swaddled, but honestly it's kinda crazy that we have gone this long with them. You still fit in them fairly well so I'll figure it out in the coming months! I don't want to stop nursing AND swaddling at the same time so we'll ween both slowly :)

-You are a total 2nd child. Your clothes never match, you wear the same bib for multiple meals (your sis had a brand new clean one for every.single.meal. We went through like 5 bibs a day! Crazy!) and I barely have any pictures of you :( I'm sorry. It's not that Momma doesn't love you, I am just way to busy!!! Keeping up with you & your sister is exhausting!

-You are FULLY WALKING! I am so proud of you! You started the week of Thanksgiving and have really taken off. I don't think I've really seen you crawl much the last couple days. It's taken you awhile b/c your so little but we are super proud! It's so cute to see you coming around a corner. I'm still not used to it! You've had plenty of falls and bumps and bruises but you're a tough cookie and just fuss a little and get up and keep going!

-You can't talk but man can you communicate your wants/needs better then ANY Baby I have ever been around. Probably b/c you're strong willed like your Momma and Sissy ;) You scream and point at exactly what you want. When you don't want something you shake your head NO back and forth. It's hilarious! If your poopy you play with the diaper wipes. When I tell you to say something you ALWAYS talk back to me. I'm sure your giving "your" answer to my question! Smart Girl :) I know people will think I'm crazy but since about 9 months I swear you've said thank you. It sounds like "tan ya" or some baby gabble but it sounds JUST like thank you. Your Uncle Andy, Daddy, and Sissy agree that is exactly what it sounds like! And of course you do the normal baby talk that sounds just like real words. All parents think their babies are brilliant and said "YES Dada" but really all babies do that! I'm sure you'll be an early talker unlike Hailey!

-You do sign language for all done and more. It's A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E and it really helps if you want more to eat, etc.

-You clap for yourself! I swear it took Hailey until 15+ months to clap! You love to stand and if I say "Yay for Ellie!" and clap, you beam and clap for yourself! Usually you haven't done anything I just LOVE seeing you clap. It's one of my most favorite baby things :)

-You are very ticklish and if I tickle your sides you give the most adorable belly laugh. Gets me every single time!

-You officially have 4 teeth! The bottom one came up w/out me every knowing you were teething (no drooling nothing! But, all of the sudden one night you were up screaming for 4 hours straight! I nursed you no less then 6 times in those 4 hours and you would NOT GO TO SLEEP! Bless your heart as soon as I gave you tylenol you were out!). Then the 2nd one came in much easier. The top 2 have taken at least 2 months to come in! Holy Moly! We have an amber teething necklace and I think it has helped a LOT. You haven't lost any sleep over the top 2! But, you seem to be extra whiny/clingy. Whatever I know it will pass and you sure are cute and fun to cuddle.

-You HATED to cuddle as a little tiny newborn. You just wanted to be left alone. When it was time to sleep, no rocking, or cuddling for you just straight in your crib. The last 4-6 weeks you will just come up to me or Daddy and lay your head on our shoulder and lay there for a couple seconds before going again! (you NEVER.STOP.MOVING!!!!!) It is soooooooo precious and I think I enjoy it more now then I would as a newborn. You are soooooooo sweet and cuddly now! Of course my favorite time of night is when you fall asleep on me while nursing. I usually hold you for just a few minutes longer before putting you to bed. I LOVE my sweet sleeping princess!!!

-You LOVE your sister something fierce. She hung the stars, moon, sun AND made sliced bread as far as your concerned. I find this hilarious, just the other day she was trying to "help" (honestly she was) and flipped you on your back from a standing position, causing you to hit your head about 3 times going down. You cried and cried and was so dramatic, then about 2 minutes later she was running all over the living room spinning around and being crazy and you loved it! You were hilarious! She pushes you down, takes your toys, and "loves" you wayyyy to hard but you are still obsessed w/ her and want to do exactly what she does! It's adorable. She is pretty much the only one that can make you laugh (aside from us tickling you). You give the biggest hardest belly laughs I have ever heard when she says pe-ew at her food. Seriously hilarious! We have so many videos of you laughing super hard at her. It's adorable and I know she loves you, just doesn't quite know how to be gentle and loving with you yet. My hope is for you girls to be the very best friends, and I can see that happening already! <3>

-Along with shoes you loathe socks. It's a never ending battle of me putting them on and you ripping them off. Silly girl it's like 13 degrees outside you need your socks! I guess your going to be a flip flop girl like Momma and Hailey ;) Luckily you always keep them on when we're out, but they just get in your way at home!

-It's hilarious when I ask "Ellie do you want to nurse?" you immediately drop WHATEVER your doing and rush over to me. You definitely know what it means!

-You are finally sleeping better. You go to bed around 10:15-10:30 and sleep until 6-7, nurse and are up for the day sometime between 9-9:30! YAY! Of course you have your random wanting to eat at 3,4,5 am night but I can deal w/ it every now and then and not every.single.night! 

-I know you won't nurse, be swaddled, and cry at night forever, but girl I am afraid you will go off to college with no eyebrows :( Poor sweet Girl, you just don't look very feminine w/out your eyebrows. You don't have anymore then you did the day you were born. When will they start growing?? (don't worry you are my gorgeous girl and Mommy still loves you the same. But I don't think I will be very good at drawing them on!) 

-I hope you know how much we love and adore you sweet Girl, but mostly I hope you have a heart and a passion for Jesus. He loves you even more then I can ever imagine! I hope I can plant a seed in your sweet heart for him, and that you see Jesus' love through your Daddy and I. We love you like crazy and know you will be a light in this world! 

 

We love you with all our hearts, you are the sweetest funniest girl ever! You complete our family and we couldn't ask for a better Ellie Bellie! :) Love you sweet girl, Happy Birthday!!!

P.S. Please remember not to hate your Momma one day that you were born ON Christmas :/ It wasn't my choice and just remember, God had it all planned and must think you're pretty special to share the day w/ Jesus!

Why I never........

So my most amazing MOPS groups has a theme this year and they were making all the leaders tell thing they SWORE they would never do before coming a Mom..........I loved hearing their answers and it made me think of my own! Now luckily I don't have to get up on stage in front of 100+ women and tell the things I was so naive about before becoming a Momma!

-I SWORE my kids would never eat in the car. I washed and vacuumed my car at least once a month. (well, when the weather in Nebraska would let me!) I took such immaculate care of my cars. It was something people always remarked when they road in my car, how clean it was!
Guess what, they eat in the car almost every time we go somewhere! I have a super hard time getting Hailey to eat breakfast if we have to be somewhere before 10am. So she eats whatever I can get in her in the car on the way there. I throw cheerios and puffs back to Ellie just to get 2 minutes of quiet so I can drive in peace. There are stains ALLLLLL over my backseat :( It still drives me nuts but it is what it is!

-I never ever thought I would take so many naps! I could never sleep during the day before. Now? I am ready for nap time by 11am most days!

-I never never ever thought I would go so long w/out taking a shower. I haven't been this dirty/greasy haired since I was 12 and decided showers were a waste of time. I know they are good, and would LOVE to take one everyday but honestly those 20 minutes are better spent doing other things some days. :sigh:

-I never ever thought I would be so CRUNCHY of a Mom! You always end up being opposite of what you think you will be like right?? I never thought I would; babywear,  breastfeed, non-vax, chiro, amber necklace wearing, all natural labor, distilled water drinking, vitamin taking,and be so PASSIONATE about it! I realize my thoughts are my own (and my Hubby's!) and I never try to push just educate as best I can!

Momma said there'd be days like this..........

I love how people think Stay-At-Home-Moms must be bored, do nothing, watch tv and eat all day! (OK so yesterday was one of those days where I sat and did a lot of "nothing", but that is neither here or there........) I  was one of those people who when I worked full time wondered "what the heck will I do all day when I am home with kids?" I mean you can only fill your time with laundry, cleaning bathrooms, cooking dinner, etc right?? HA!

Today me and the Girls had to go to Target to get a list of things. I should  have gone to the ol Wally World but let's face it, I can only go there so many times before wanting to stab my own eyes out. So Target it was! We get there and are walking in and Hailey decides to STOP in the middle of the parking lot for no reason. So of course I step on her foot, which apparently broke every.single.toe. causing her to cry and scream. We finally get in the store where I can put Ellie in the cart and inspect Hailey and cuddle her like a baby until she will shush enough so people don't think I put her in a torture chamber. Oy the child and her dramatics. I don't have any idea where she gets it people!
So then of COURSE Hailey HAS to use the potty b/c she couldn't use it at home, so we go in the huge family size one (THANK YOU TARGET!) where I can push the entire cart in the restroom. Hailey sits on the potty and somehow manages to pee all over her undies AND her pants. So of course this uber prepared Momma would have a change of clothes and panties for her somewhat-newly-potty-trained-3-year-old right? ERRR wrong-o! Great. Luckily I did have a pull-up which surprisingly she agreed to wear so at least she didn't have to go commando, or even worse make me buy MORE underwear when we already have 23930128329 pair at home. While I am cleaning Hailey up (who also agreed to wear slightly wet leggins, let's forget the fact that Momma lied and said they were dry please. She usually won't wear a shirt if it has 1 drop of water on it from lunch. Yes I gave candy in the car for good behavior) Ellie decides to try to jump out of the cart to her death. Really child?? I look over and she is STANDING up in the cart backwards in the front part. And before you judge me, SHE WAS BUCKLED! I swear my children are Houdini's! What he heck?? I tighten the strap on the poor kid until she can't breathe so she is safe and get Hailey dressed so we can start our shopping trip! The rest of the time in the store was pretty uneventful, unless you consider me having a momentary laps in judgement and gave Jelly the teeniest tiniest bite of Halloween cookie they were sampling in the bakery, and she decided to cover her entire self with sprinkles (which I'm pretty sure her cookie was sans sprinkles. Where did she get them?) and the .1% of frosting. Seriously it was a HUGE mess. But I pretty much got her cleaned up. And let's be real here folks, she is the 2nd child. She is never clean or in matching clothes. Poor kid.
Then when we check out Hailey decides to scrap her leg on a box of something I was buying in the cart and proceed to scream again like I broke her toes all over again. Oh lawd get me out of here! I couldn't help but laugh as I was finally walking out of the store. Yes it's SOOO boring to be a SHAM...........good thing God made my babies so cute or I would go crazy! Oh heck I already am crazy! 

Hailey's BFF.......

So this is kinda a silly blog but I just had to write it down so I can remember this sweet memory from Hailey's not-so-fun 2 year old stage ;) I'm sure all you fellow Mommy's know what I'm talking about, the days are long and hard and full of tantrums when something sweet and/or funny happens we MUST document it!

So me and Steve have started a small group through our church on Sunday's mornings. It's been SUCH a blessing and great new friendships have formed for us, but it's also been amazing for Hailey to have interaction with lots of other kids her age, and with the teachers. A couple kids from our small group are also in her sunday school room so every week we talk about going to see our "friends", Harper, Jacob, etc. It's pretty fun. Well, one week after picking her up from S/S (which makes Momma feel SOOO good as she throws a fit and cries and screams she doesn't want to leave. I digress) she kept talking and talking about "Ms Leah". I honestly don't know any of the teachers names in her class, but I remember asking one (only to forget. oops) and was positive it wasn't Leah. So I figured it had to be one of the kids in her class.
She had this obsession with Ms. Leah. If you ask her ANYBODY'S name it was Leah, Leah would drive places in the car w/ us, everything. It was funny but I kinda worried she already had an invisible friend. I know it's not the worst thing to have but I didn't know what to do with it! Ha.
We would ask alllll kinds of questions about Ms. Leah, was she at church or mops (our other "sunday school" setting where she would have friends and teachers), was Ms. Leah big or little, was she a girl or a boy, did she have a brother or a sister. It was quite hilarious. And for awhile the answers changed. Except that she as always at church not mops, and she had a brother and his name was Leah. lol.
Well, I decided to do some investigating. I knew none of her teachers at mops were named Leah, so I checked the sign in sheet one Friday morning only to find NO kids in her room named Leah. So Hailey was right Leah was at "church" and not mops. So finally this past Sunday I remember to check the sign in sheet for her sunday school. NO Leah on that sign in either. So I asked the ladies that sit at the table and assist with sign in. I asked if there was a Leah in room B. They said yes and that she was at a high school retreat today. Ha I almost hugged them I was so happy to have found out Ms Leah is a REAL LIVE PERSON that Hailey knows! ha. So I told them Hailey's obsession with Ms. Leah and how much she LOVES her and always talks about her. They thought it was so sweet and that next time they saw her they would tell her how much Hailey loved them. It was so cute the one lady said "oh it will bless her so much to know that!" :) I honestly hope it does, and I am so happy that Ms Leah has blessed MY Hailey so much that she talks about her 24/7 and loves her so much. :) I know these are memories she will have forever and remember going to church and playing in her room w/ Ms Leah and her other teachers who bless us and her and teach her all about Jesus :)

Sleep training at 2

So this will be LOOONNNGGG. But again with #2 on the way I need to have a way to look back at these things.

So let's see where to start...........the first 10 months of Hailey's life she hated life. And everyone in it, including me. And she hated naps. Night time was fine. She took a bottle, fell asleep and slept 11-13 hours from about 8 weeks on. But during the day?? The most I could get out of her was maybe 40 minutes. S T R E S S F U L. And she would not fall asleep on her own. I had to swaddle and rock her. My fault. I am totally claiming messing up my child for life. I will accept responsibility. But it sucks.



After I was able to quit my horrible-no-good nanny job in March of '10 I decided Hailey was GOING to nap in her crib and not my arms (in my defense at the horrible nanny job there was NO where for her to sleep for her nap, so I held her. Ughhhh fun NOT). So I let her cry it out. It took a couple days, 1 day she cried for over an hour but she is smart and caught on quickly. Quickly I was able to lay her down w/ her bink, cover her w/ a blanket and she fell right to sleep. Success!!!
So from 11 months until 22 she took 2 1/2-3 hour naps. It was GLORIOUS! This was on top of sleeping 11-13 hours a night. Why oh why didn't we have another baby then? Ha. So once she turned 22 months she went down to 1 2 hour nap a day, but she was still sleeping great at night in her crib.



Then I found out I was pregnant. And the baby would need the crib and Hailey would have to be moved to the twin bed. So I decided EVER so slowly to transition her for this. I took out the beloved bumpers. The girl would snuggle her entire face and body into the side of her crib and sleep in the bumpers. Weird I know. So I took them out. And then her binkies fell out of the crib and she would wake up w/out it and scream and I would go in and re-plug her. One night I think I did it 9 times. Seriously?? It got a little better, and then in August we went to Michigan. She slept horribly there b/c of the time change, new surrounds, etc. But I thought maybe it would get better at home. It didn't. MORE waking in the night crying for no reason. (oh other then she tends to wake up a LOT when teething. And she has been getting her 2 year molars. Fun! Tylenol=Momma's bff)
So I decided if she was going to wake up in the middle of the night anyways we may as well get her one step closer to being out of the crib and take apart the one side of her crib and make it into a "toddler bed". She did AMAZING with this transition. WAY better then I expected. That first night I was sooooooo worried. She would get out of bed and go play in the toilet, or push a chair over to the counter in the kitchen and get the knives, or go outside and a million other crazy things. lol. But she never ONCE got out of that bed. I don't know if she knew she could or not. But when she would wake up she would just lay there and cry and scream until I opened the door then she could climb out. So funny! But I was HAPPY!



But her sleeping through the night did not get any better. Still waking up crying in the middle of the night or having a hard time going to sleep. It's been extremely wearing on this Momma. Remember this started back in June when I took the bumpers out.
So fast forward to last week. She decided she could and would get out of her bed and come and find Momma. WHAT?? I always swore she wouldn't do it, b/c after 2 months of sleeping in the big girl bed she never did! Who showed her this?? Why does she think this is a good idea??? So I think it was Tuesday night of last week, she got out of her bed and came into my room 8 times. We were awake from 2:15-8:30. Seriously. I was dead. It was horrible. I was crying. When Steve woke up at 6:30 to get ready for work I made him take over. She was hysterical and would NOT stay in her room. Finally at 7:30 we went in the big queen bed together and she finally fell asleep from 8:30-10am. Then, I kid you not was the sweetest, best behaved she has been in MONTHS. What the?? I love me a good 2 year old and a good day, but I need my sleep more. Ha.
So we went to walmart. And spent $30 on sleeping-through-the-night-bribes. Ha. Oh and a door handle child proof lock. Judge me if you want, but I will lock my child in her room if I have to. And I did.
So we got the lock, new binkies (again w/ the judging. I realize she needs to get rid of these, but now is not the time people!), a huge soft dora blanket, and a princess flash light. We also decided that instead of needing to be comforted by Momma we would push her to take a doll/stuffed animal to bed. Sounds opposite of what "normal" people would do, and not have their child be attached to something, but she is sooooooo attached to me we need to move that attachment to something other then Momma. I sound like a child psychologist right?? Or at least like I know what I'm talking about?? ha. Not-so-much. Honestly, I am so anxious about having this baby and being in the hospital for fear of how Hailey is going to do w/ me gone I haven't thought or worried about labor and delivery much. Or how our house is going to be effected by another baby, we just need SLEEP!!! So I will do whatever I have to do.
So that night after the horrible night she feel asleep great, slept great and was quiet until 6:10am when she came into my room. I took her back to her bed and she slept until 9. I knew she HAD to be tired and was glad we got some good sleep. The next 2 nights went amazing, went to sleep great and slept through the night w/out a peep! Praise Jesus!!
Then the next night (y'all I have no idea what day is what. Sorry), she came into my room 3 times. So I broke out the door handle lock. She stayed in her bed and slept after that. And the next 2 nights. Then this past Sunday night she decided she didn't want to go to sleep. So she tried to get out, but couldn't. Broke my heart and made me laugh hysterically at the same time. She stood at the door trying with all her little might to get the door open screaming "stuck! Mommmmmmaaaa!! Stuck! I commin out see Daddy, go Daddy bed! Momma my be good girl! I no go living room, my go Momma bed!" oh it was hilarious and heart wrenching at the same time. So I caved and went in and explained why the lock was there and why she couldn't get out. She slept the whole night and the last 2 since. Not sure if we have turned a corner or not. I expect there to be delay's and she will regress before fulling getting it. But she is smart, and wants to please so much.
She really is good and sweet, but man she can drive me insane! We decided if she wakes up crying, I will go in and check and make sure she isn't poopy/sick/hot/cold etc and then after that she gets to cry. It KILLS me but I know it will get better. She needs to learn to console herself to sleep and not have me patting her back, singing, or what she wants most of all to sleep with us. No happenin! So we'll see! I wanted to document this and to help if ppl google this. When I goggled almost all the stories I read were about stopping co-sleeping, something we never did. She has always been in her own bed, just never able to get herself to sleep. Again this is my fault. Oh the things we learn! I just keep telling myself that one day she will be in jr high and I will never be able to get her OUT of bed right??? ;)

2 Years..........???

So time flies. Duh. What Mother doesn't say that?? I never know how amazing my life would be with this little sunshine God blessed us with. This Girl is crazy. She is a carbon copy of her Mother AND Father in one big drama queen. Ha. It's scary. And hilarious. Not a day goes by that I don't laugh and smile at her. We have our moments, but I love her more then anything and she is "Momma's Buddy" and knows it. Since her 2nd Birthday is like 3 weeks away I thought I would do a catch up post all about my Princess.

Since her 15 mo appointment where the Dr told me to put her in speech therapy (which I didn't) she has taken off. I have put forth way more effort into simplifying words and sentences for her, made sure to give her time to repeat me and I think it's paid off. A couple weeks ago we got in the car to go somewhere and she wouldn't shut up. I laughed and asked Steve why I was desperate for her to talk. She is behind (different) then most kids her age speech wise but I'm not worried :) Here is a sample of what we hear all day every day;
Momma
Da da
Yeah (EVERYTHING is yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah is what we hear ALL day. If you ask her something she will shake her head no and say yeah. Which is it kid?!?!)
Birthday (birtda)
Pretty (prity)
Andy
Nat
Ma (Meg and Mur)
Papa
Grandma (Ama)
Bye bye
Go
Pizza
Bubble
Ca (color and car. Sound exactly the same. Hard to know what she is talking about)
Sticker (Sticka tah)
Down
Potty (Pa)
Ba (cup of milk only given at night)
Bink
Bucket (Ga get)
Hi (seldom heard but she CAN say it)
Balloon
Off (osha if you didn't know what it meant you would have NO idea what she is saying)
ON (we hear this one almost as much as yeah)
Cheese (Cheeeeeee)
Work
Doggy (Doggydoggydoggydoggydog is usually how it's said. Ha)
Ball
Walk
Wipe
Away
All Done
She will almost always try to repeat people's names after I say them. They aren't regular words we hear but she always tries! I know there are more words but that is almost all of them. Her little voice is so sweet. No matter what you ask her you will get a "Yeah" but when she is very excited or something she like you will get a resounding and very excited yeah. Hilarious. Like I will say "Hailey are you excited to go to MOPS and see your friends??" "YEAH!!!!" and her little face lights up. Prech

One of our favorite things to do as a family is go to this super cheap, gross, nasty arcade. It's HUGE and has tons of ticket games. She ALWAYS runs right for the ones that light up and are lots of colors and play obnoxious music. So funny. She LOVES to run and play with Daddy.

A couple weeks ago at our MOPS meeting one of the ladies spoke about Introverts/Extroverts. (this was VERY enlightening for me and I learned a LOT especially about my Hubby/marriage) Steve is a TOTAL Introvert and I am mostly an extrovert. Well Hailey is even MORE of an extrovert then I am and I am so happy. I would hate if I had to keep her inside and away from other people and social situations. She LOVES to go go go, run errands, play dates, church, anything social! Her favorite places in the world is walmart and Target. We wave hi to everybody and say bye to every.single.person in the parking lot. She most especially has to say bye bye to the cashier until they acknowledge her and say bye back. lol Since starting MOPS we have made some AMAZING friends and had a couple play dates. She is so sweet, always sharing and not fighting over things with other kids. This makes Momma's heart so happy! I know it won't always be like this, but I am so glad she has a kind heart and wants to make her friends happy. We talk a LOT about sharing and having a kind heart and being sweet to our friends. Hopefully it is sinking in and she is getting it! :) She sure gets confused when her friends grab away her toy, she just stares at them like "Huh what did you just do?" to funny.


My perfectly healthy little toddler got very very extremely sick a couple weeks ago. It started with a cold, Momma sucking snot out (her most FAVORITE thing in the world. (not)), coughing, and a lot of sleepless nights. But I knew it was just a cold from the church nursery and she would be better soon. Well, after about 2 1/2-3 weeks it FINALLY was subsiding. She was good for 3-4 days before it totally came raging back. Monday she woke up with a 103 temp, crabby and snotty. Her temp down to a low grade fever, but by Thursday was coughing so hard she was almost throwing up. I found out we were exposed to strep from my friend who we just had dinner with. Having had strep twice before I knew how horrible it was and that it wouldn't go away without getting something. So I called her pedi office, and my almost 2 year old who had only been to the dr for well checks had her first "sick visit" :( We saw the Nurse Practitioner, who did a strep test (neg) and said she just had a bad cold. Of course she gave me a prescription for amoxicillian (which I didn't fill) and sent us on our way. Friday I had my Mom keep her while I went to MOPS. She clearly wasn't herself and fell asleep on my Mom. That NEVER happens. Sunday we stayed home from church b/c she still wasn't better and that's when the massive horrible diarrhea started. (TMI SORRY!) It was pure water. OMG I felt sooooooooo bad for her. She had 3-4 of those a day until Wednesday. By Tuesday she was still horrible, I couldn't get her to eat or drink ANYTHING. At all. I was a mess. Worried, upset, stressed, sick myself. So we went BACK to the dr and was told it's a virus and he had seen hundreds of patients with all the same symptoms. After we got home from the dr she was like a new kid. Eating/drinking everything in sight. Few! It was a horrible scary couple of days. How do you make your kid drink water?? You can't! I was so afraid I was going to have to take her to the ER for fluids. Her Pedi said she probably was border line, and should have gone to the ER but since I made her drink enough she was fine. So scary for a Mommy!! I hope to never go through that again.


So I had a couple Mom's tell me Hailey was ready to potty train and that I should try. Now I have been feeling like since she was about 18 months old she was ready. Momma wasn't. I really didn't want to deal with putting her on and off the potty 97 times a day (since she can't do it herself). Plus night time training, blah. So a friend sent me the 3 day potty training book and I decided we could do it. I was very extremely anxious about night/nap training but after talking to some Mom's decided we would use pull ups. This Momma LOVES and NEEDS her sleep way to much to be up every hour in the potty. Nothankyou. Well, LOOOONNNGGGG story short it didn't work. She wasn't ready. I tried and stuck true to the method. But I wasn't to proud to quit and go back to diapers. We'll try again probably this fall, but it was to much of a headache for both me and Hay. So in the potty training book it talks about #2 (sorry tmi alert again). Kids get scared, think it's gonna hurt, etc. So they said to make a special stick for the kid to hold and it will help give them "magic poppy powers". Ha. So I didn't decorate a stick for Hay to hold while pooping. But it was one of our biggest obstacles. In 5 days she never once made it to the bathroom for #2. But I digress. So one day I could tell she HAD to go but wouldn't. I don't know if she was scared, in pain or whatever. So I handed her a "Magic poppy powers stick" aka a tampon. LOL. She held it, but to no avail she never did poop on the potty. But for weeks after whenever I went potty she would hand me a tampon. LOL. Oh my I would laugh until I cried every time!!

My girl LOVES to color/use stickers. Every night when Daddy gets home from work she is all "Ca (color), Stica tah (stickers)" hilarious. She could and does do it for hours. Luckily we have quite the stock of stickers (thanks to Aunt Nattie!). But she LOVES LOVES LOVES to color and sticker all over paper. It's precious.

Her other favorite thing to do is read books. She doesn't really play with toys or get things out anymore, just sits on the couch and reads. It's precious. I LOVE that she loves her books so much. She talks in her baby garble gash that nobody but she understands. But by gosh she is reading her book! She will blabbel, turn the page, blabbel some more, turn the page. It's hilarious to watch!! She knows just how much blabbel is on each page :) We are going to start going to story/craft time at the local library tomorrow. It will be interesting since her attention span is like -.3 seconds but maybe she will like sitting with the other kids listening to a real story! Heaven knows she never sits or lets us actually read to her at home. She has to do all the reading to us!

We have been so blessed to have such a good eater on our hands! As a baby when I started solid foods the only thing she ever rejected was avocados. Can you blame her?? Ha (but now the girl LOVES her some guac). She rarely turns down anything, but defiantly knows what she does and doesn't want. She is always taking me to the pantry and picking out what she gets to eat. We have created a monster. :) We fight at dinner/lunch sometimes but she is quickly learning if she clears her plate/trey/bowl she gets a treat. Anything can be done for 5 jelly beans. Ha. But honestly there are far and few between things she hates. Hamburger being one of them. She loves her some chicken, casseroles, soups, stews , and fried food! :) You would never know she eats about every hour (not joking), she is just a tiny little thing! But she can put it away!

OK this is long enough. I could go on and on about her! If you can't tell I am one proud Momma! I feel so bad I haven't documented her as much as I would like. But I'll try to get better. We <3>

Truth..........

FYI *** this will be graphic. If your shy, embarrass easily, don't have children you might not want to read. Lots of TMI's included***


So I opened Google to go to my blog and write this about 8 times before actually going through with it, for a couple of reasons. 1) This will be embarrassing for all parties (myself and readers) but I must write these things down for I am already forgetting them and I need and want to remember them. 2) There are people who I didn't want to read such intimate details of my being, still don't want them to but what can you do. Maybe this will help some poor girl who googles something and finds me for answers. Welcome!! ha 3) Being away from my blog for so long sucks. I wasn't one of those good Mommy's like the ones I read who write milestones down monthly and do a cute monthly post for their Babies (but in my defense Hailey's baby book is completely current as of last Thursday) , and I feel like I need to blog to catch up on the last 18 months of my life. But alas I can not so I'll just start somewhere. So this will be long and windy and crazy all over the place but here we go.

The TRUTH about having a child and surviving........

I wish before I had my child somebody checked out my boobs before hand and told me breast feeding would be IMPOSSIBLE. I have inverted nipples. Making it almost impossible to b/f. After working with one of the lactation cons. at the hospital for 2 days, one finally gave me one of these and I was FINALLY able to feed my child. But it was horrible. I couldn't feed her in discreet because I was fumbling with a piece of plastic and it would leak and come off and it was just a mess. I used it with every.single.feeding (every 1 1/2 hours remember?) for 6 months. I will NEVER forget one night in the first week of being home it took me from about 8 until 11:30 to get Hailey so sleep and to stop screaming at the top of her lungs and I laid her down and made sure I had my shield handy for our next night feeding and I couldn't find it. I was hysterical. I woke Steve up and made him come help me find it (with a flash light so we didn't wake up psycho Baby). I think it ended up being next to Hay in the pack-n-play but I was dying. I could NOT feed my Baby without this thing and if I lost it then what?? I went to Target the next day and bought 2 more. Ha. After 6 months I finally gave up and pumped exclusively, it was a hard decision but we were going to b/f class with the L/C from the hospital and she agreed it was probably best also so I felt better. People have told me that they know so many people who have so many feeding problems with the first Baby and never use the shield with the 2nd. Sure hope I would be one of those people..................

Internal Hemorrhoids S U C K. After pushing for over 2 1/2 hours I should have known I wouldn't get away with 0 hemorrhoids. I was in pain every single time I had to go #2 for like 11 months. Honestly I don't know or remember how long it was. My body was SOOOO messed up for so long. For all I know it could still be not "normal" and hurt but I am just so used to it and this is my "new normal". Ugh. Horrible. I used every kind of treatment out there and nothing worked. My Dr basically said since they are internal and not external there was nothing anybody could do and they would just heal on their own and go away. Blah. I am pretty much better and healed I think, but man going through that again scares the bejewels out of me.

So since my child's head was stuck on my tail bone for 2 hours of pushing and the traumatic way she finally came out I had a fairly large tear that required stitches. After the initial horrible part of actually getting the stitches everything was fine. For about 4 months. Then I remember going to the restroom and it burning sooooo horribly bad down there from the urine. I finally found a way to position myself when going that it wouldn't hit it and hurt. Yes I am stupid and didn't think anything was THAT wrong it would just go away on it's own right?? RIGHT?? My 2nd sign was using my scented suave body wash irritated the crap out of it to. OHMYGOSH did it burn in the shower to wash my "area". So finally one day I listened to my ever wise Husband and called my OB for a check up to see how everything was down there. SO NOT what I wanted to do. So he takes a look and told me that my scar tissue from my tear decided to RE-OPEN!! People!!!! Seriously?? I can't make this stuff up. How much can 1 person go through?? Holy jeesh! So my lovely Dr decides to cauterize it. So yeah he grabs like a 3 foot (OK maybe it was like 4-5 inches long) match looking thing and lights it on fire and puts it DOWN THERE on me. I almost died. Worst pain of my life. I was supposed to stop and pick up dinner for us right after my appointment, but I was in so much pain sitting to drive home I called Hubby in tears and to figure out plan B for dinner. I sat on the Boppy pillow for like 2 days after that. Ha. It healed up fine and I haven't had a problem with it since. But jeepers did that KILL. It was bad. Of course it probably wouldn't have been half that bad had I had it taken care of earlier. I don't know how long I let it go on for, maybe 2 months?? I am so stupid I never want to go to the DR or admit something is wrong with me, I just think if I ignore it it will go away. Smart huh?

Before child I was a social butterfly. At least 2 times a week (even after we were married) I would go out with a girlfriend(s) and do dinner, shopping, movies, pedicures, it was heaven. I mourned those dates after Hailey and still do sometimes. I had so many "bestfriends" (I use the term to loosely probably), we were always together. One friend in particular comes to mind. We were super close, hung out all the time. After Hailey was born I saw her when Hailey was 5 days old, then Hailey's 1st Birthday and haven't seen her since. 6 months it's been since I got to see her. :( I miss her! I understand she has a super busy career, a house, kitty, Husband, family, etc but it still sucks that I don't fit into that anymore. I don't blame her AT ALL I was probably the same way before Hailey, thinking people with kids are to busy and you don't want to bug them and take them away from their family to hang out and stuff, but no PLEASE call your friends, HANG out! Save them! Ha. I guess it's just hard. I have a hard time reaching out all the time and getting turned down or no answer. It sucks. I miss my friendships and those fun times...........

If this makes me a bad person/parent do NOT comment and let me know. I already have my thoughts and feelings of guilt, but it is what it is and I am being honest and putting myself out there so that means I'll dump everything out in this blog. Sometimes (a LOT especially right after Hailey was born) I would cry and sit and miss my old life before Hailey (BH). Me and Hubby had the best marriage and life BH. We had this cute little house, I had loads of time with girlfriends, we have 2 incomes so extra $ to go shopping with, see movies, and spend on stupid things (oh if I only knew then what I know now I would have been SO much better about saving!). We never traveled much but we would go to Kansas City for the weekends and just do fun things! I haven't been away from Hailey for 1 night of her entire 18 1/2 months. We can't just sit down and watch a movie/tv show with out being interrupted. We were only married for 11 months when I found out I was pregnant. We finally both admitted last weekend that we wish we had waited until now to have gotten pregnant. 3 years together alone sounds sooo amazing. Like I said I feel horrible and guilty saying this. All I EVER wanted in my life was a baby and to be pregnant and be a SAHM. Seriously, since I was like 4. And then I had that and I didn't want it! What?!?! I remember when we were living at Steve's parents (which is probably part of the problem and where it started) I would drive by our old house we had just sold and cry and sob. I mourned for those fun carefree times we had! I would never wish my daughter away. I love her more then life itself. I would die for her. I guess I just wish I had enjoyed those times more, cherished them more, taken more vacations and pictures, and done things later in life, but it is what it is and I deal with the hand I was dealt. It's just so hard. You want to just be lovey dovey with your spouse instead of being dirty from throw up and poop, and not wash dishes and just honestly be DEAD tired to the world and want to sleep. But such is life as a parent! We knew going in life would change. But I think I thought she would fit more into OUR life instead of us having to do a COMPLETE 180 and fitting into HER life. We are readjusting and just now are in an amazing place! We always joke and say that if babies were born at like 10 months we would have 6 kids!

Sooooooooo all of this to say...........life has been hard. Not at ALL what I expected. And I just now fully and totally happy and healthy so I have BABY FEVER. lol. Am I crazy? Stupid?? Naive?? This is why God blocks things from our memory. I thought I wouldn't survive those first couple sleepless nights with Hay nursing every 2 hours. Hours upon hours of nursing. Feeling so secluded and trapped in the house. But I did it! I survived! We go to MOPS now, we love to run errands and just drive around.We shop several times a week and have fun play dates. We went to the Zoo every week this summer and it was a awesome summer! Trick or treating last night was probably hands down the funnest thing I have done as a mother with my child. She LOVED it and had so much joy. It made my heart so happy! So I survived, and I can survive again with 2 kids, right?? I don't remember the pain of labor or pushing her out, I don't remember the frustration of breastfeeding, it was all a blur. We'll see what happens and what God has in store for our little family. But Hailey needs a sibling I know that for sure! :)

Motherhood..........

isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Yeah it's great but there are some NOT so great parts. Here is MY take. Just warning ya I am keeping it real and graphic. I tell all my friends w/out children the TRUTH. I do not sugar coat it and tell them to have kids like other ppl. I tell them the truth and how hard it is and to cherish their "single" years and take lots and lots of vacations and date nights w/ their spouses cuz once they kids come all that "fun" stuff magically disappears :)

Things people do NOT tell you about having a Baby:

They tell you and you will hear about how HARD nursing is. Sure. You get it, you will have troubles in the beginning and you'll be tired and it will suck but to stick w/ it all it will get better. All of this is true. But does anybody tell you that when your kid is 5-7 months old they will become so aware of the world you will have to sit in a pitch black dark room nursing w/ no noise, no lights, no tv nothing. Can you say B O R E D while you kid takes 20 minutes on EACH side to nurse yet still be hungry and have to do it all over again in 90 minutes? Yeah nobody tells you that.

Or about all the WEIRD post pardum things. Like stretch marks on your B**bs, yeah SO attractive. Or hemorrhoids for 6 months people (yea 6 whole months), or the Sasquatch hair that will suddenly start growing out of your forehead. Not your head people like the friggin middle of your forehead causing you to look retarded if you put your hair up in a ponytail.

Nobody tells you that your kid will become to attached to you from nursing once an hour and being w/ only you 24/7 that they will hate any other person to hold them. While this is annoying, secretly (or not so secretly) it will make your heart jump w/ joy that they stop crying the second you hold them cuz they love you and only you :)

Nobody tells you it is "normal" for your kid to stick all their fingers in their mouth WHILE eating their cereal, which is hilarious and annoying at the same time. Causing a HUGE mess for you to clean up 2X a day.

That when you attempt to descpline your 8 month old and they laugh at you, you know your in BIG trouble

That nobody makes sleeper/footy pajama's after 9 months??? Excuse me?? I want my 12 mo old to have their feet covered please! Whateva

That carrying a baby/infant in their carseat in the winter with 492097 blankets on them, a hat, binkie, and snowsuit feels like your carrying 75 lbs worth of Baby. Holy arm hurting moly

How incredibly bad "food" poop stanks. OHMYGORD my house will never be the same people

That you will let your child play with a pen/calculator/humidifier/phone of any kid just so you can spend .3 seconds checking your email once a day

One word: Masticates. Praise God I do not have this but my "boss" girl has it and is clearly going t0 die from it. Oh I am praying and praying I do not ever have to experience this. Looks and sounds HORRID.

That you want to show off your Baby and tell stupid stories about how yesterday she said "oijugkoshrubheth" and it was thee cutest thing EVER to everybody including the guy at the tire store. They do NOT care but listen and smile and think your crazy. But you MUST tell them all about how great your Baby is.

That you are lucky if you get to shower 4 out of 7 days. And don't get me started on shaving your legs........can anybody say um October??? Yeah you do the math.......